I Don't Want to Laugh Anymore, or Another Look at Frankie Valli.
- Sean Marus
- Jun 21
- 5 min read
Updated: Aug 6
Frankie Valli Fever is sweeping the nation. Since I first became infatuated with Mr. Valli in August 2024, it’s been remarkable how the odd circumstances surrounding his recent tour have spread like digital wildfire. With more calls than ever on Mr. Valli’s friends, family, managers, and puppeteers to end this tour forever, I think it’s time we take another look at Mr. Valli.
After all - you never know how much time you have with someone until they’re gone. Unless it’s Frankie Valli, in which case, of course, the answer is “longer than God Himself intended.”
That thousand-yard stare. The semi-functioning eyes. The near crypt-like silence emanating from his mouth as the backing track blares hits from 50 years ago. People have latched onto the absurdism. The first piece on Mr. Valli was, in essence, a shaggy dog joke/story making light of the unbelievably odd situation. But this time around, I want to reframe this for what it is: weird and sad.
Part 1: What the fuck’s going on here?
Okay - elder abuse is a gigantic problem. Exploiting those in a fragile or compromised mental state, in advanced age or otherwise, is repugnant. Naturally, after the shock and spectacle of Frankie Valli all wears off, the real life implications of his ceaseless performances start to flood in. It’s probably an indictment of my character (and probably most/all of us) that genuine concern is secondary to the gawking, but we are at that latter stage of the Frankie Valli reality.
With justifiable calls for welfare checks and realistic claims of elder abuse coming from every corner of the internet, Mr. Valli released a statement in early October to address the fervor. Like many press releases penned under duress, it raised just as many questions (if not more) than it answered.
First, Mr. Valli issued this as a written statement which raised some questions and concerns. How authentic and accurate is a written statement, and how can we be sure Frankie himself is fully in harmony with the contents of the release? Not to be conspiratorial, but it’s plausible that anyone could have written it on his behalf in an attempt to squash concerns over the whole situation. What’s telling is that Frankie Valli audio/visual interviews are exceptionally rare to come by. Now i’m not alleging that Frankie is NOT okay or that he is in the throes of some Richard Simmons-like conspiracy wherein he is essentially held captive and pimped out to the public.
Regardless of all the noise and conjecture, the core message here is that Frankie insists he is fine - despite what we all surmise from the videos. The optimistic part of me hopes that Frankie is indeed still living his best life, having fun, and taking a victory lap to celebrate his storied 70-year career in the business of show. The more pessimistic side wanted to dig deeper to at least uncover reasons why Frankie is not in an assisted living facility, drinking bloody marys and playing sheepshead until he dozes off at 7:25 pm.
Part 2: Wait… he’s got ties to WHO?
Uh oh. This isn’t good.
Frankie himself has told a story wherein he recounts that he was once visited by the FBI after having a drink with John Gotti. Apparently, Mr. Valli walked into some undisclosed restaurant and was immediately identified by infamous, uh, ‘family man’ John Gotti - who then beckoned him over for a drink. Without oversharing the contents of their happenstantial meeting, Frankie recalls that the FBI agent asked how he knew Gotti, to which Frankie said all he knew of Gotti was what was in the newspapers and tabloids.
In a Dec 2018 interview, Frankie said that a mafia godfather was like an uncle to him. Gyp DeCarlo was a major player in the organized crime scene in New Jersey. DeCarlo apparently “shielded Valli from trouble and made problems go away.” Frankie even performed twice for the prison in which DeCarlo was incarcerated.
In the dramatized version of the story in the show Jersey Boys, based on Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, it is heavily asserted that the group’s mob ties, and debt to the mob, caused the group to break up.
Also in the 2018 interview, FV bids farewell to touring in the UK - with a heavily implied tone by the author/interviewer that he was reaching the end of his touring days full stop. Well, fella, I’m no mathematician but that was 7 years ago – and he has averaged 50ish shows per year since the pandemic.
Why a nonagenarian is still on the road, lipsynching and not-dancing to his greatest hits, is a question that can only be answered by Frankie and those closest to him. I hope it’s because Mr. Valli still got dat dawg in him, and because he would sooner renounce hair gel and snazzy leisure suits than stopping the thing he loves most. I really do.
Nearly one year later...
Part 3: Just leave it alone, Sean.
I started writing this second installment in September 2024, and I revisited it briefly in November before abdicating my investigative and journalistic responsibilities for a solid 7 months. But it is June 2025, and I have returned to finish the job.
See, I love writing. And I love weirdo deep-dives. And I love crafting vaguely humorous narratives to entertain mostly myself. But sometimes I step away for a while. And the words run like ticker tape in the back of my brain and I know that one day I will once again sit down and let my energy escape through my fingers and onto little pixels on a screen. And it’s only with that separation that I regain that passion. If I drive it into the ground or self-impose too much, it feels like a second job. And I want to do this for fun, not out of responsibility.
Frankie dealt with health issues in the 60s that significantly impacted his ability to perform. Though he recovered almost completely in the 10-15 years that followed, maybe that stretch of hardship hardwired him into cherishing every moment on stage. Maybe other personal hardships, that I won’t get into detail here, have reinforced his love for performing and the joy it brings. I hope that’s the case.
Maybe COVID and the separation from performing once again steeled his mind and body against all other factors, and he has willfully chosen to follow his passion to the very end of the Earth. Or the end of his own life.
My separation from long-winded Frankie Valli nonsense has given me a new perspective, too. Maybe all of this conjecture says more about each of us who have been morbidly engaged in this than it does about Frankie and his team.
Assuming the best of Frankie’s situation - If people are willing to pay for a shell of a performer and indulge him as he nears the end of his life, and see a living legend smile and have fun, why is that bad? Why are we laughing or gawking or callously demeaning someone who has lived their whole life for the crowds he still entertains - whether it’s your idea of a good night out or not.
I hope Frankie is doing well. I hope he tours as much as he wants to for audiences with appropriate expectations and expendable income. I hope the crowds go home happy, knowing they've seen and supported a key figure in the musical history of the world. And I hope Frankie himself is happy. Life is too short and too painful to assume the worst. To gawk and mock. To be callous.
I don’t want to laugh anymore.
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Sources/references that I am too lazy to individually source in the body copy above:
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